The Silent storm inside


           pen – paper drawing by me

The cool breeze hits my face and I never felt this much free from the world.

What are you doing ? Are you crazy ?

There was a loud voice from behind, I was surprise and about to fall but found my hands held by someone. I realized what I was gonna do, I was actually standing on a wall and could have killed myself.

My Friend asked me “What made you to go for it?” Are you tortured this much by your life?”

I am a Jolly girl and no one expects this from me. I had no answer , all I could do was cry…… tears came rolling down my cheeks.

My friend “soul”, he is my best friend but I never shared anything with him. He scolded me “You call me your BEST FRIEND, I can find myself just a STRANGER”

I replied “Sorry Soul, nothing like that but what would I say to you.” Will share everything and at end of it let me know if it was wrong to keep everything just close to my heart without sharing it”

Soul – (After a 5 minutes silence) “OK, go ahead. Let me hear what is it about ”

Me – “Soul, I have always seen you so close to your parents, never saw you afraid from them. You always shared everything to them. After seeing and knowing everything how could I tell you that I am staying with my parents but still am very far away from them?”

Soul – “I can share everything with them as they are my best friends as you are. I share everything to them as to you. If you ever considered me your best friend just a sign was required”

I saw tears rolling down his eyes, he was silent for some time and didn’t even look at me.

Me – “Trying to ignore me, ahh?”

Soul – “Who ignored and whom? Is it you who has done that or me?”

Me – “Hmm , I am sorry. I didn’t share my feeling but believe me I didn’t ignore you?”

Soul – “Really!!! You were trying to kill yourself. You were ignoring LIFE itself and you say that you were not ignoring?”

Me – ” I didn’t had another way, Soul and I still don’t have any hope”.

My eyes were full of tears and to hide them from him I turned my back towards him.

He came near me held me by hands and turned my face to his. Slowly he wiped my tears with his hands and said:

Soul – “You are still doing the same, trying to hide your feelings from me”,  I know all friends in life are not meant to be together but believe me some are. If you pull your hands, how is a friend supposed to hold them when you are in need?”

If you don’t give your hands out ,complaining that no one did hold them when you were in need is WRONG.

Me – ” You don’t understand Soul, It is about my Parents and life, you cannot fix it. You are perfect, your life is perfect. You can’t help me.”

Soul – “OK, understood, but I can try right? If not, I can at-least listen to it. May be it can heel your heart a bit.”

Me – ” Hmm, you may be right, I should”

I continued – “There was a time when I had a good Job, so many friends were around me, doing party, get-together and then one day I met this guy “Moody”.

He took good care of me and I loved him a lot. For few years we were together and so were my friends.

One day he proposed me for marriage and I felt that it was the greatest day of my life. We were gonna be together.

I was about to say “Yes”, but I stopped because heard him say “But there is a condition for that”

I thought “Condition to marry and love?” still I asked him “What is that?”

Moody – “You have to quit your Job as I don’t want a working wife?”

I asked – “Moody, you know my family conditions. I have my parents to be taken care of. There is no one else to do that.

Moody – “Once married you are no longer their daughter, you will be just my wife.”

I said – “But Moody, I thought we will take care of our parents together. I mean how can you even think like that”

Tears rolled from my eyes, he ignored and said ” Look I have no time for these non sense, if you agree then we will marry else it is a No from my end”

It was like everything slipping away from my hands but I was not ready to loose my self respect and my parents both.

I turned to him and said “Moody, you can leave. I will think that we never met, you are the biggest mistake of my life. You need not to say No to me, I am not ready to marry you. I wish you all the happiness in life. Good bye.”

I was trying to hide my feelings, there were no tears while I left him behind but something inside just broke into pieces.

After telling Soul about this much from what I had in my heart there was a strange feeling inside

He stared at me for few minutes and I was trying to hold the tears in my eyes. He understood the storm inside me, came up to me and hugged me tight.

Soul – “Let the tears flow sweat-heart, you should not stop them”

That feeling was like – “Someone is there for me, I am not alone and there was a smile on my face along with tears rolling down cheeks like rain in sunny day ”

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5 Responses

  1. Anjali 3 years ago
    • Ray Kha 3 years ago
  2. champati manikanta 3 years ago
  3. Manish Purohit 2 years ago

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