Drawn on paper – “I avoid you coz I love you. So much that if I will feel it by myself then I will die!!”
I walked down to the class in my new high school and saw a guy with cool attitude chatting with his friends. First impression was like “I am not gonna be a friend of this guy. I have my own attitude. Why should I?”
Few days passed on without having any conversation with the cool guy. We used to see each other but never tried to speak. Then came the biggest get-together of our school. We both were pushed to the same volunteering team.
Next day when I reached school, the cool guy was waiting for me. We started talking to each other, days passed on and I felt him to be the reason of the biggest smile on my face.
Now, I look for him all around after reaching school. One day he asked me “Why your eyes always search me? Do you love me?”
My Answer was “Yes” but all I could ask him was “What is Love?”
He said – “Love is when you like to spend time with someone, you care for that person and always look around for that special person.”
I replied – “You gave the answer by yourself.”
I am not sure if he understood what I meant. Answer is “Yes” but he is already in love with someone. How can I hurt someone. I am not perfect for him, he deserves better than me.”
“I am also afraid to hurt myself. If hurt I will break myself into pieces and I can’t afford that.”
“I started avoiding him thinking that there should be no issue in his life due to me. I stopped talking to him but still my eyes look for him every where. I talk to him normally but have no courage to say what I feel.”
“I don’t allow him to look into my eyes as he will know they have cried a lot in these few days.”
Today after the class when we both were left alone and I was leaving, he caught me by his hands pulled me to himself and asked slowly into my ears ” Why are you avoiding me?”
I didn’t wanted to but reply was “It was for myself.”
He asked – “What do you mean?”
I replied – “Leave it, nothing”
He asked again – “Why didn’t you speak to me these days?”
I replied – “I don’t know what to say.”
He was holding me from behind and shaking as if he was crying. I made myself stronger and said – “Leave me, before you misunderstand we are just friends, don’t get confused by my silly talks.”
He asked – “Did I say it was Love?”
I replied – “No”, still wanted to let you know”. I am leaving now, bye take care.
I slowly moved away from him without looking back but my heart was whispering.
“Don’t let me go. I wish you were mine but you are not. I avoid you coz I love you. So much that if I will feel it by myself then I will die!!”
Sometimes you may not get the chance to be with the person you fall in love but moving away for that special person’s happy life is not sacrifice. It is LOVE. Love depends on how you define it, live it your way